Archivos Mensuales: octubre 2016

Waiting

So, a bit reluctantly, a bit relieved, a bit worried I start again my writing journey. It’s been a very long time since I last wrote. And as with everything else in my life, beginnings are difficult. That is, beginnings which involve fulfilling my expectations, and quite high ones I feel I must say. Self disappointment is one of the things I find most difficult to cope with and therefore I tend to keep delaying things waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect idea or inspiration… But here I am, just jumping into the pool with a “key word” which is good, even though there have been better which I’ve rejected.

Today’s prompt was “waiting“. I feel like my whole life right now is in a waiting mode, and I want to turn down that switch asap. I’m waiting for the time to pass. Waiting for things to just fall from the sky. Waiting for answers without really searching for them. Waiting for everything to get in its place… Waiting for my life to regain sense.

One of the golden rules of physics is that without an external force, without a change in the environment, the object remains at rest. Other philosophers also have stated that unless you change something, the outcome will remain the same. Therefore, same applies to my life. Wanna see changes? Then do something to achieve!

I guess… Right now I’m lacking motivation and I’m “happy enough” just going along and waiting for who knows what. I mean, theoretically, there’s no problem at all. And that’s precisely the problem. If it was just a matter of facts and reasons, it’s easy to sort it out, search for a hook or even just choose and decide if the problem is a lack of a clear and specific goal. But how do you fight against this feeling of unease and passiveness. How to reach the point where mind and heart are one and in harmony, together. That’s where it gets tricky. Same thing which used to make my heart leap now arises in me just mere indifference.

Time’s up. As I arrive to my destination, I flip to the next page and activity, and all this mess is swept into a dark corner deep into my mind. To stay there hidden and overlooked until I manage to find the next good moment to return back to it… Today’s dream challenge is to manage to be more focused and the real and specific challenge is to find one thing to be grateful for at least once every hour during this week.

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